Perhaps he’s not yet ready to share his heart with another person.
His attention, even if it’s negative attention, is still preoccupied with his ex and their relationship.
I believe that every relationship is different, which is why it upsets me when I see articles that make blanket statements about men (or women) and what you “should” do in your relationship.
Forcing You to Go Incognito It makes sense that a man who is newly divorced may be hesitant to bring a new love interest around his children if he is a divorced dad.
As his children are coping with the loss of their family unit as they know it, introducing a new woman into his family too soon may really worry and confuse them, further adding to their sense of instability. (It can happen in a divorce, especially when a couple shares mutual friends.) But if you want a normal relationship; if you want your relationship to grow and evolve, but your partner insists on “sneaking around” or hiding you from his friends and family, then that’s not normal.
Maybe he always wanted to work late or on the weekends. Her betraying him probably really hurt her husband, and certainly didn’t help her marriage.
Maybe by the time he came home from work he was tired and wasn’t interested in sex. But is he blameless for the breakdown of their relationship? Relationships don’t happen “to you”; relationships are co-creative.
Most emotionally healthy people who are going through a divorce will engage in a bit of self-reflection as they attempt to determine how they could have done things differently throughout the course of their relationship.
So if your partner is saying he’s completely blameless in his divorce or playing the victim, be curious as to why he is not taking responsibility for his own faults.
These include respecting others and having healthy emotional boundaries (knowing where one person ends and the other person begins).
Take note if your partner is: Badmouthing His Ex Sure, it can be pretty common for people to walk away from a bad breakup with a sour taste in their mouth.
And if his ex really did a number on this guy, it would make sense that he would have some bad feelings towards her.
But if he is routinely expressing those bad feelings about her within earshot of you, his preoccupation with his divorce or separation may mean that he has some unresolved feelings.
But if he is also maintaining a strict separation between you and his family, or you and his friends, then it’s reasonable to wonder why. That’s not making space for the relationship to grow and evolve.