First, you’re absolutely right that as Mormons we generally do a horrible job of talking with our kids about sex. They are the grownups, and even if the topic makes them uncomfortable, it’s their responsibility to teach their children.
And trying to help them avoid feeling uncomfortable should not be the priority; you getting the information and knowledge you need is the priority.
I know there are people, who for one reason or another, struggle with having a happy sex life.
Perhaps we’ll hear some of their perspectives in the comments.
2) Sex has to be learned, it’s not like breathing or blinking.
So if two people have never had sex and they decide to start having sex, it might not be much fun at first.
I received a compelling email from a senior in high school and I would love to get your help answering it.
It’s such a sincere, honest email with such heartfelt questions about an important topic. Here’s the email (with her name changed and any identifying facts removed): Hi Gabrielle, My name is Lisa and I’m a senior in high school living in a medium-size city in Utah (I’ll be heading to BYU in the fall). I’m emailing you for advice among all people in the world because a) you’re a mom b) you’re LDS, and c) I like what you have to say especially about tricky topics like this. Today I was talking to my college age sister about a terrible law of chastity lesson I had in seminary and explained my frustration about how Mormons have such an unhealthy way about discussing sex.
Thanks a lot, Lisa —- Dear Lisa, Thank you so much for your email. As you know from our exchanges, I’m going to respond publicly here, and I also want Design Mom Readers to respond, because I think this is a topic that benefits from many experiences and many points of view. Second, I don’t know you or your parents, but based on what you wrote, and your confidence, I think they seem pretty great.
I can see you have a ton of confidence just to write it up and send it. I also think you are not the only 18 year old that feels this way. So I’m hoping this public post can be a help to others who feel just like you. And I would 100% recommend that you share this same email with them — both your mother and father — and tell them you want to have a series of open, frank conversations about sex with them.
This combination leads to curious kids who don’t really know where to go for good answers. I’m 18 and about to graduate from high school and quite frankly all I really know about sex is what I’ve seen from movies.
Maybe 50 or 100 years ago it wasn’t really important to know that much, but in 2017 I think that teens need to be equipped with this knowledge.
I’ve had sex thousands of times and I’m still learning stuff (there’s always some new trend or new term I’ve never heard of before).