Pattern of dating married men

Chances are he will play out the same scenario with the next six women he dates.If he is truly caught in his own Deadly Dating loop, there is nothing you can do to change this.

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That’s why he’s not calling.” or “My thighs are so big and I wore that clingy dress. ” or “He broke it off because I am too (old, needy, successful, have kids, fat…fill in the blank).” When we don’t understand our partner’s Deadly Dating Patterns and things blow up, it is ultra easy to go into knee-jerk negative self-blame: “It ended because of something I said or did, or something I didn’t say or do.” Understanding the MDDPs can liberate us from these self-blaming thoughts.

Instead we can more easily say – and understand – that, “It is not just about me.

Not even you can succeed —I know what you were just thinking! There are guys who never had to struggle with Deadly Dating Patterns and they make great partners.

There are also thoughtful guys who are aware of their self-sabotaging patterns.

You need to suspend judgment about what a man ought to be like. Sometimes a guy is so entrenched in his dating game issues that he would act the same way with most any woman.

We expect a lot based on fairy tales, romantic movies and the media: the all-perfect prince is supposed to come along and sweep us away to the magic kingdom of love. He is caught in a behavioral loop, an unconscious program he is totally unaware of, that is running in his mind.

Some of them are much more ingrained and difficult for the guy to overcome than others.

I rate the degree of difficulty of each pattern, based on my clinical experience, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most challenging.

Truth is, men are at least as hard to figure out as women.

Like women, they have habitual ways of sabotaging themselves when it comes to romance and love.

When you learn to clearly see who you are dealing with and understand his patterns, you can free yourself from second-guessing about what you did wrong whenever a relationship falls apart.


  1. Of course, there are providers who tend to mix the two together…

  2. I know that in terms of Paul, it's really important for me to let him know that he’s my priority. If I don’t feel overwhelmed, and I don’t feel like my head’s going to explode because I have so much going on, then I’m not happy.

  3. A good man is looking for simplicity in a relationship. He just wants to know you’re not going to get hold of his heart then crush it and stomp on it.

  4. No matter how many women write in to say, ‘I don’t do this!

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