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That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Even the ones who’ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.A few months later – and okay, I know this is kind of a theme, but that’s just how things worked out – I met this girl in a bar in Shinjuku and we ended up in a love hotel. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.And you’ll have kids for sure, because that cements the argument. Japanese people value working ridiculously hard, and they’ll expect you to do the same. Seems like you’d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That’s some of what dating a Japanese woman entails.

Or if you’re desperate to get married and trapped in a place where no one else is available, well hey, prison wedding. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society.

It’s by no means easy being a woman, of any race, in Japan. But here, I’m only presenting the male perspective. There’s a whole flip side to this story that bears keeping in mind.

That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. No, you either have to stay at the office until midnight, or come home and get busy. Sorry, I meant, “true love.” My fingers slipped off the keys.

Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type.

In that case, it’d probably be in everyone’s best interest not to show her this article, really.

In the end, Japanese women aren’t simple and gullible, although they’re good at pretending to be.

Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. But in the West, if you’re a handsome, well-spoken guy with a good career, you can date sexy, generative, and highly successful women.

Here, well, you’ll get something, but it’s unlikely to be someone on your same level. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men. What’s really happening is self-selection: foreigners frequent places where the few women interested in foreigners all congregate.

Outside of Irish bars, international parties and the like, in the society at large – and I hate to say this, but well – foreigners are not highly regarded in Japan, including by Japanese women.

Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: a group viewed as not really “normal,” with values and behaviors outside of the mainstream, but also thought of as flamboyant and entertaining.

Anyway, I just try to present what I’ve learned and experienced in the most authentic way possible, so hopefully others can think about Japan in a well-rounded manner.” Sure, Just walk up and Whoops! Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.

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