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The first step after registering is to create your profile.

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Create a password, that shouldn’t be the same name as your pet dog, cat or rat, then you’re good to go. While joining this site is easier than kissing a complete stranger at Cafe Bubbles, canceling the membership is more difficult than getting a Dutchman to pay the bill on a first date.

To cancel the contract requires sending a fax, which for those of you under the age of thirty, is a machine akin to a photocopier, but which you can use send documents via the telephone.

Visits to the hairdresser on a regular basis also appreciated.

If you own a pair of cowboy boots then we won’t be compatible.

Good quality body lotion, perfume (no fragrances of Beyonce, Britney Spears or Jennifer Lopez please) and please no Lady Gaga, One Direction or Miley Cyrus songs in your possession.

Having communicated the next step is where to go for a first date.

Of course, in order to make sure that the advice I provide is based on real world experience, I sacrificed myself, and actually joined several dating sites and had a number of dates whose results I shall keep to myself while smiling at my screen.

The Expat herd tend to flock online, (Don’t’ say that too quickly) to the Expatica dating site which is the best place found by the Shallow Man for online dating in Amsterdam.

We hebben ons erg goed vermaakt.”, “Zonder Blind Date was ik hier niet geweest, nu toch leuke avond gehad.”, “Nog nooit van deze man gehoord, maar het was formidabel.

Some say that the Shallow Man is old, others, when they see my elegantly suited and well-trained physique, prefer to think of me as having matured like a Henri Jayer Vosne-Romanee Burgundy. Being so mature, the Shallow Man can remember the days when one would actually have to leave one’s palace to meet a potential partner for life, or the for the night.

Take the fun with you with the Persian Soulmate dating app on your Apple i Phone or i Pad device.

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