I had this huge crush on this girl in my Italian class freshman year of college. When I feel sparks for a girl, I love hearing her laugh at things I say and do.So, naturally, I kept signing up for Italian whenever she said she was going to continue. By the third year, my Italian grades had plummeted and we were getting full on novels to read in Italian every semester (keep in mind I have enough trouble reading in English). I want her to see me accomplish cool things and notice anything great that I'm doing.
fireworks, but in our earlier days my sisters and I were content to sprint around with sparklers in hand.
As the Fourth approaches, I've been inundated with friends seeking advice and telling me stories about dating, and they always take a moment to acknowledge the presence or absence of "the spark".
We put so much emphasis on finding someone the moment we get out of a relationship—out of fear—that we forget to enjoy being alone.
There are so many valuable lessons to learn about oneself, without the emphasis of another person. I was in an on-again off-again relationship for the better part of three years, so I spent the month after we broke up telling every friend I had that I was probably going to be alone forever and there was no hope for me.
Make sure it’s clear you need 15 minutes each night to decompress when you get home; let your partner know that early Saturday mornings are for your weekly bike ride.
Whatever those things are, make sure not to lose them, because ultimately those little things that belong to only you will help your relationship last.If you’re worried about forgetting what you learned about yourself, take up journaling. Use all the pieces, put them together and decipher whether your new partner fits into your life, and don’t be afraid to compromise on the issues that aren’t deal breakers.Figure out what things are important for you to keep for yourself, and make sure you hold onto them once you’re not alone anymore.That didn’t quite work out, and since then I’ve been enjoying my free time. Here’s why that’s a good thing: I am learning so much about my likes, dislikes, preferences, thoughts feelings, views, beliefs—and everything else under the sun. If we don’t know ourselves fully and completely before entering into a relationship with another person, it’s bound for disaster from the beginning.Relationships, at least in the beginning, are for getting to know someone well enough to decide whether they are someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Decide what your own list is, and then do whatever your heart desires and everything you need to do to get to know yourself.See how a new person stacks up against the relationship must-haves for you. About the Author: Sarah Frost Sarah Frost thinks life is one big adventure—and should be treated that way.